Jane and Dylan

Jane and her 16 year old son Dylan hadn't been getting on for several months. Eventually there was a very serious argument and Dylan left to stay at his friends house and refused to return home.

Jane contacted CJC for assistance to help her and Dylan improve communication and talk through their issues without it escalating to another argument.

At the beginning of the mediation, Jane and Dylan blamed each other for the events that led to Dylan leaving home. The mediators asked each of them to explain, uninterrupted, what had happened and what they would like to achieve through mediation, and what key issues they would like to discuss. 

Jane said Dylan spent too much time on his computer; his schoolwork was suffering and he didn't help out around the house. Dylan complained that Jane nagged him, did not respect his privacy and wouldn't let him hang out with his friends late at night.

During the mediation, the mother and son slowly started to listen to each other and to take responsibility for their part in the events. Together, they came up with strategies to recognise the danger signals and avoid confrontation.

Both realised that they were both anxious when they wanted to talk with each other for fear of arguing. They had stopped spending time together and doing things they enjoyed like watching action movies and comedies. They agreed to try to spend time watching their favourite tv series and spending more time outdoors like bushwalking together least once a week again. They also agreed on rules about behaviour and their expectations of each other and to have a follow up mediation to review the agreement after eight weeks. 

At the second mediation, both Dylan and Jane were happy about the improvement in their relationship. The agreement had worked, except they realised that  bushwalking was unrealistic, so they changed it to every second or third week. Dylan's school work started to improve, particularly in his computer science courses. They also agreed Dylan's friends could come over for a monthly BBQ so that Jane could get to know them more.